A novel sex-capade trends in South Africa between Nigerian women and their ‘blessers’ who bring them to South Africa with their consent to be kept as side-chicks, servicing men who are married back home.
The twist to the trend is that some these women end up get abandoned by their ‘blessers’ who may have become tired of their services and moved on with another side-chick.
The side-chicks are forced to seek husbands amongst other Nigerian men who live in South Africa. This advanced prostitution by these women is rife in South Africa – one of the reasons there are lots of single Nigerian women in South Africa.
Some of them remain unmarried not to lose the ‘blessings’ from their blessers who often send them regular monetary allowance or open businesses for them.
Some Nigerian men in South Africa become averse to dating or marrying Nigerian women believing they are side-chicks for a blesser in Nigeria.
Lots of Nigerian women are single and frustrated in South Africa as a number of Nigerian men have other options – there are South African women and African women available for them.
The side-chick+blesser relationship has dented the image of Nigerian women before many Nigerian men in South Africa.
“The truth of the matter is we see them as prostitutes. They are also breaking people’s homes and they would be complaining that we don’t want to date them. We have lots of coded whores in Nigeria,” says Ademuyiwa, who refused to give us his surname.
“I know what some of them are doing is wrong but my brother, there are only few men available for marriage today. If you are a women and you see a man who wants to keep you as side-chick when others have refused to marry you, you either trust God and wait or trust him less and roll with a ‘blesser’.
Another Nigerian trader in Johannesburg says he sees it as prostitution as the ‘blessers’ hardly marry them. “They are silly prostitutes. They give themselves to somebody for money for many years…abort lots of pregnancy and dump themselves on a naive young man as a wife after whoring for more than ten years. It’s prostitution and wickedness.”
This trader says these women take front seats in church and appear very spiritual to undiscerning men.
However, research reveals many reasons why women opt for being the ‘side-dish’:
Desperation tops the list: wanting a man as soon as possible.